Comedian Hall of Fame
"When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. (on Frank Sinatra)"
"My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend."
"Michael Jackson, who can sing, and is a good lookin' guy...but ain't the most masculine fellow in the world."
"I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."
"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
Follow Us On Twitter
"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress."
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
"You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma."
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They have nothing to lose."
"The best damn rock station on the planet."
"The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself."
APRIL 2018 INDUCTEES
"Did you know Richrd Nixon is the only President whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?"
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
We have original broadcasts of old sporting events.
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"My children love my mother, and I tell my children, "That is not the same woman I grew up with... this is an old woman trying to get into heaven now."
"I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells."
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
NEW INDUCTEES EVERY MONTH
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner."
Like Us On Facebook
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."