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Henny Youngman

"When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. (on Frank Sinatra)"

Steve Martin Comedian Hall of Fame

"My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend." 

Johnny Carson

Mitch Hedberg Comedian Hall of Fame

"Michael Jackson, who can sing, and is a good lookin' guy...but ain't the most masculine fellow in the world."

Steven Wright Comedian Hall of Fame

Roseanne Barr

Robin Williams

"I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'."

Sam Kinison Comedian Hall of Fame

"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."

Cut & Shave 

Chris Rock

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

Richard Pryor Comedian Hall of Fame
Louis C.K. Comedian Hall of Fame

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Richard Pryor

Jerry Seinfeld Comedian Hall of Fame

Don Rickles

KIW Radio

Rodney Dangerfield

Bill Cosby Comedian Hall of Fame

Eddie Murphy

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"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress."

Lenny Bruce Comedian Hall of Fame
Johnny Carson Comedian Hall of Fame
Chris Rock Comedian Hall of Fame

The Inaugural Inductees

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."

Roseanne Barr Comedian Hall of Fame
George Carlin. Comedian Hall of Fame

"You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma."

Steve Martin

Mitch Hedberg

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person.  They have nothing to lose."

"The best damn rock station on the planet."

"The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself."


Henny Youngman Comedian Hall of Fame

"Did you know Richrd Nixon is the only President whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist?"

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

George Carlin

Joan Rivers Comedian Hall of Fame

We have original broadcasts of old sporting events. 

Don Rickles Comedian Hall of Fame

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

"My children love my mother, and I tell my children, "That is not the same woman I grew up with... this is an old woman trying to get into heaven now."

Sam Kinison

"I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells." 

Bob Newhart Comedian Hall of Fame

Bill Cosby

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."


"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner."

Steven Wright

Eddie Murphy Comedian Hall of Fame

Lenny Bruce

Rodney Dangerfield's Comedian Hall of Fame

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Forgotten Video

Jerry Seinfeld

Joan Rivers

Robin Williams Comedian Hall of Fame

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

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Louis C.K.

Bob Newhart